Are you holding back from getting the help you need? (Part 1)

After leaving my corporate career and embarking on my own business as a coach and later, transformational therapist, facilitator and trainer, I had to make the huge shift from receiving a regular pay check to generating consistent revenue by offering services and programs that help individuals and groups to thrive.

In the beginning of that journey, even though I had been a senior leader and business owner and thought I knew a lot, there was so much I didn’t know about entrepreneurial success. I began to realise that I’d have to invest a good deal of time, money and effort in getting outside help if I were to be successful, including receiving marketing guidance, virtual assistance, branding, web development, course launch help, etc.

During the past 5 years, I've often resisted and waited far too long to get help, and the results were disastrous. I’d offer myself a lot of reasons why I didn’t really need the help or how I could figure it all out on my own. But in the end, it became crystal clear that if I didn’t get the necessary assistance, my business would die on the vine very quickly.

In working with thousands of professionals from around the world, I’ve heard virtually every reason you can imagine why people won’t move forward to get or hire the outside help they know they need. While some of these reasons are very obvious (money, time, effort, etc.), many of these (dare I say “excuses” in some cases) are outside of people's awareness – meaning, they actually have no idea the real reasons behind their reluctance and fear about getting help.

To learn more about the top reasons we don’t invest in our own growth or obtain the help we need when we know it’s crucial, there was an informal survey on LinkedIn conducted by a senior Forbes Contributor in 2018.

Question asked was this:

Please share the one TOP reason that you elect NOT to invest either time or money in getting outside help, coaching, consulting, advising, training, and other support when you know you must. And if you DON'T get the help you need, what do you believe the consequences will be? Thank you.

After analysing the feedback, they found that the comments offered mirrored exactly what I’ve heard over the years. And what emerged was a reflection of the 8 top reasons people most frequently give (to themselves and to others) for not moving forward to invest in a wide variety of outside support when they know they need it.

Today I will share the top 4 reasons and the next 4 on Thursday for you to contemplate how they play out in your life.

1. Money/cost/investment
   Money, cost, and financial investment are the top reasons people give for not getting help. They either don’t have the funds to invest, or they do have the money, but they’re worried about the return on investment, or the lack of guarantees on the money spent, and what it will ultimately cost them to get assistance.

   While this is absolutely a legitimate concern for many, I’ve also seen that when we dig deeper to uncover core beliefs, there are numerous subconscious fears and worries that underlie the money concern that keep people from moving forward.

   Often, individuals suffer from a deep-rooted worthiness problem, and they lack the self-esteem, confidence, and internal commitment necessary to move forward towards their highest goals and dreams.

2. Time/timing
   The second most frequent reason I hear for why people don’t obtain outside help is that the time investment required seems too great, and/or the timing feels off because of the other commitments, projects and demands the individual is facing at the time that make it feel too hard to commit to getting help.

3. Inability to tell the good from the bad
   Many people have shared that there is so much out there in the world today that is fake and false – unethical people claiming to be “experts” who actually know nothing about what they’re offering, and others who are just trying to take our money and don’t have the ability to help us at the level we need.

   Many respondents have shared that they don't feel equipped to discern the credible experts from those who can't deliver on their promises. Just because someone has a slick website doesn't mean they have expertise.

   I have witnessed this daily in my own field as well – scores of people looking good online and pretending to have great experience and capabilities to support positive growth in others, but in reality, they don’t.

4. No trust or faith in the outcomes
   The fourth reason for not getting help is that people have grown intensively sceptical of promises made by service providers on the internet.

   Their trust or faith in the idea that there will be positive outcomes has been shattered, either from a past experience (“I’ve been burned so badly!”) or because the promises seem too good to be true.

   One respondent shared, "I'm looking for a map to how these people will help me and the methodologies they'll be teaching and using, but I'm not seeing it."

   People want to be shown exactly how this outside helper will support their goals, and they’re concerned that the investment simply won’t pay off and they’ll get ripped off.

Keep an eye out for Thursday's conclusion to the 8 reasons people don't invest in the help that they need!