Are you holding back from getting the help you need? (Part 2)

I hope you have had some time to seriously contemplate whether you are at the effect of any of the reasons that you or your clients, are holding back from getting the help that you or they need.

1. Personal pride ("I should do/know this myself.")

   This reason revolves around an inner belief that we should not need any help to be successful, and that asking for help is weak or reveals vulnerability.

   Often, this mindset is rooted in a person’s programming they received in childhood, where parents or other authority figures instilled in the child a misguided and damaging notion that we should rely only on ourselves, and that admitting to needing help is admitting to failure.

2. Not knowing where to begin to look

   I've seen that this reason is responsible for holding so many people back from finding the right therapist, mental health provider, coach, and many other critical personal and professional resources they need.

   Often, we simply don’t know where to begin to look for a great therapist, for instance, or to find a reliable, trustworthy financial consultant, lawyer, mediator, doctor, etc.

   The seriousness of our problems coupled with our overwhelm at where to begin to find good help keeps us paralysed, doing nothing.

3. The goals of the outside helper aren’t aligned with our own goals
   I’ve experienced this reason myself numerous times – whereby the goals that I wanted to achieve in my business and work-life didn't seem to be meshing with the goals that these top “experts” said I should want.

   In other words, outside help often promotes certain practices that “experts” say are the “right” way, when in the end, these practices can feel wrong and out of sync with our own intrinsic values, needs and desires.

4. A relentless feeling of incompetency/inadequacy

   Finally, this reason – a deep and chronic feeling of incompetency and inadequacy – keeps people from asking for help because they’re embarrassed and ashamed about where they are.

   They don't have the confidence to believe that they can act effectively on the advice they're given.

   This feeling of inadequacy prevents individuals from admitting outwardly that they need help and stops them from “finding brave” to go out and get it.

   Deep down, they feel flawed somehow, that they “should” be doing much better in their life and their business, and it's too painful and humiliating to admit how much trouble they're facing.

   Sadly, that feeling of inadequacy keeps them from getting the very help they need to shift and improve their situation.

What are the consequences of not getting the help you need?

I've lived this, as have hundreds of people I've spoken to. Waiting too long to get help can mean we lose everything we've worked so hard for, or we make matters infinitely harder for ourselves.

When people are asked, “What do you think are the repercussions for not getting the help you need?” virtually all respondents know and share this: “I’m missing out on the success, growth, and improvement I could be experiencing.”

If any of the above reasons strikes a chord with you and you know that outside help is necessary to improve your situation, I hope you’ll muster the bravery to dig deep and address what is standing in your way of getting help.

Embrace that fact that we all need help at one time or another - that's the universal human condition. It's a very wise and empowered person who can face his or her challenges bravely and ask for help.